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Joke of the Day

"MORON Q: Why did the moron throw the butter out the window? A: He wanted to see a butterfly."

"How did ISIS do on their French test? They bombed it..."

"A man died today when a pile of books fell on him.!!! He only had his shelf to blame.,,,,"

"If you woke up and couldn't remember the night before and your ass hurt real bad would you tell anyone? Want to go camping?"

"Sorry I tweeted before texting you back. Sorry I opened your Snapchat but didn't respond. Sorry these are things we actually worry about now"

"My friend told me I'm delusional. I almost fell of my rhino..."

"Went for a 4 mile run this morning. Now everything hurts... even my eyelashes."

"What do you call it when you poop a little bit in your pants by accident? A shituation."

"An orchestra one-liner I popped off my g-string while fingering a minor"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Coffin ! Coffin who ? Coffin and spluttering !"