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Joke of the Day

"You must be pretty famous! After all; bill gates did name his company after your dick."

"How to give a woman an orgasm? Dream harder."

"I take spiders outside in stead of killing them because it's not their fault that I'm scared of them. I do however, scream while doing so."

"When ever I make Eggs Benedict, I always serve it on a hubcap. Cause there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise."

"I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger. And then it hit me."

"People who talk to themselves are more intelligent then those who don't, or at least that's what I like to tell myself."

"My ex said he would die for me. All I'm saying is, it was his suggestion."

"What did the Imam say after he was replaced by immigrants? They took my hijab!"

"One farmer says to another farmer... ""You can get more sales out of your crops by canning."" The second farmer looks and says, ""I know, I can. I can."""

"My parents are so poor.... If I dont wake up with a boner Christmas morning I'll have nothing to play with."