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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the oyster have any friends? He was shellfish. Woo! Been thinking for days trying to come up with some OC to blast your brains with."

"What did your last slave die of? A perforated colon."

"If Romney wins I will punch a basket of newborn kittens one by one. Do you want that, America? Do you want kittens to get punched?"

"Why did Fred Durst sleep with Princess Leia? He did it all for the Wookie, yeah!"

"I was left alone for 3 hours and I almost cut my hand off trying to open a banana."

"Mayweather Vs Pacquiao A fight ? That's a laugh .... I've had tougher fights getting my kids to take their baths!!"

"Did you guys see the goal from half field today in the World Cup? It was a great U.S. attack from Midway"

"The guy who invented the mohawk was originally just trying to get his sideburns the same length."

"Someone called my call center today to tell a joke I don't think I've ever heard: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite"

"If you're American going into the bathroom and American coming out of the bathroom... What are you in the bathroom? European"