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Joke of the Day
"Went out to find a spider in my car this morning. So disappointing. I really liked that car."
Next Joke
"Doctor Doctor I can't stop singing Delilah Oh that sounds like Tom Jones syndrome Is it common It's not unusual."
"Before I give a speech, I always tell myself I won't quote Linkin Park But in the end it doesn't even matter"
"As a kid, I had to be careful not to curse around adults. Now as an adult, I have to be careful not to curse around kids."
"If I had a dollar for every time one of my kids said ""Mom, you're not funny"", I could buy a beach house. And live by myself."
"U2 sent their new album to every Apple device through the Cloud. I hear if you play the first song backwards you hear Bono saying ""Please buy our albums again. We're desperate."""
"Camouflage training The sergeant-major growled at the young soldier, ""I didn't see you at camouflage training this morning."" ""Thank you very much, sir."""
"""What should we call the big finger?"" ""'Thumb' seems as good as any."" ""Impressive. What about this smallest one?"" ""PINKY!"" ""............."""
"What kind of pizzas can tell the future? Medium Pizzas"
"What do you call a midget psychic that escapes from prison? A small medium at large"