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Joke of the Day

"I got in touch with my inner self today And that's the last time I buy cheap toilet paper"

"...her name was April, and her only son went on to become a comedian but everyone just called him: April's fool."

"What do you call it when Britain, Russia, and France make a sexual pun before WWI? A triple Entendre. History jokes, man. they're killers."

"What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a scorpion"

"My daughter wanted to have a Disney princess tea party. I couldn't find the tea or the dresses, so I settled for Taco Belle."

"Me: Congrats! I heard you got married again Her: Sorry I didn't invite you. It was a small ceremony Me: Its ok. I'll go to your next one"

"Did you know that it's traditional to serve Eggs Benedict on a hubcap? There's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise."

"""No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying."""

"I saw a man at the beach yelling ""Help, shark! Help!"" I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn't going to help him."

"*does 3 or 4 pretty accurate karate kicks in front of a girl* ""Ya as I was saying my dad went to middle school with the drummer from Tesla"""