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Joke of the Day

"Hey! I took my diaper off, see? Oh! Look! I found your power drill! Gonna go see if it fits an outlet.. Bye! -My 2yo when I'm on the toilet"

"FREE NUDE SHOW: Walk into a women's tanning salon and yell ""FIRE!"""

"Looks like Brenda in Accounting drew on her angry eyebrows today..."

"You have to PAY for a speeding ticket?! I thought it was a reward for beating other drivers.."

"What did the Third Reich say when they fired Hitler? ""You're ladolf."""

"What sort of soup do skeletons like? One with plenty of body in it."

"Why do dinosaurs climb trees? There's nothing else to climb in the jungle."

"Random woman in the store: What's in your mom's tummy? 5-year-old: A baby. Woman: What kind of baby? 5-year-old: A human one. Nailed it."

"Just got back from Germany... and let me tell ya, their meat is the Wurst."

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a Prius? Porcupines have pricks on the outside"