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Joke of the Day

"*Baby presses 'snooze' to stay in womb extra 10 minutes*"

"Say, did you hear the one about the three holes in the ground? No? Well, well,well."

"Did you hear the one about the guy who could never remember the punchline? It...um...it was a pretty good one."

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Him? It only takes one nail to hang the picture."

"DUDE: first of all ME: oh shit this dude's about to make more than one point"

"How to turn a dishwasher into a snow blower? Give the bitch a shovel"

"My inner man is a fabulous gay dude named Gary who loves pedicures and bon-bons."

"My wife and I are hosting a get together tonight that ends at 11:30.. We're calling it a before New Year's leave party."

"What's worse than locking your keys in your car outside an abortion clinic? Having to go inside to ask for a clothes hanger"

"How does a farmer count his cows?? with a Cowculator!!"