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Joke of the Day

"[ants at a Def Leppard concert] *Pour Some Sugar on Me starts* Ant 1: Oh hell yeah I love this one Ant 2: Sugar is good for us and the queen"

"What do Downton Abbey and Premenstrual Syndrome have in common? They're both period drama"

"What do you call a fish with no eye? FSH"

"Her: My father is very upset that I'm your girlfriend. Me: Well, duh, I'm very upset that you're my girlfriend..."

"I scared 5 and he buzzed while we played operation. He went and told my wife on me. Long story short, I'm sitting in timeout tweeting this."

"Christmas tree's for single mom's Just big enough for her to carry by herself"

"What has 2 wings and a halo? Did you say angel? WRONG! Its a chinese phone. *Wing Wing* ""Halo?"""

"Which 2 Birthdays go by the quickest? the twenty second ones and the thirty second ones"

"What do you call a chiropractor in Egypt? A cairopractor."

"What do you call an Egyptian bone-setter? Cairo-practor."