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Joke of the Day
"My phone dies faster than a black man in a horror film."
Next Joke
"Take it from me. Your wife will not like it if you say, ""My twitter girls would do that"""
"A sodium atom undergoes a vigorous reaction with flourine... How do you feel?"" Asks the fluoride ion. ""Positively shell shocked"" the sodium ion replied."
"French toast is just regular toast that smokes cigarettes and has a tiny mustache."
"Married life - Honey, are you jealous? - Nope! - Admit it, you're jealous! - I told you, I am not! - Then give me a kiss! - GO KISS THAT UGLY-ASS WHORE WHO LIKED YOUR FACEBOOK STATUS!"
":* `*twinkle twinkle little star...point me to the nearest bar * `*:. HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!"
"I just heard an add on the radio stressing the importance of healthy muscles and it inspired me to bend my elbows more while eating cake."
"how many Irishman does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2, one to hold the light bulb the other to drink until the room spins"
"Why did the Jews wander in the desert for 40 years? Because one of them dropped a nickel."
"Hedgehogs. Why can't they just share the hedge?"