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Joke of the Day
"My phone dies faster than a black man in a horror film."
Next Joke
"[in traction] Before you ask, yes you can make cheese from moose milk and no I didn't think she'd spook so easy."
"As there aren't any female leprechauns, where do leprechauns come from ~ something to ponder every St Patrick's Day"
"Carpenters are only in it for them shelves."
"I only make my food from the natural ingredients, like uranium and asbestos"
"Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? because they're ugly, and they smell bad [and hate jokes](http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/d2gmw/why_do_girls_wear_makeup_and_perfume/)"
"'Pampers' is a good product name because it implies being able to poop in your disposable underwear is a great luxury"
"The fact that belly buttons aren't blowholes is fucking stupid."
"Why did the sex assault victim get triggered by the pear? Because pear in an anagram for rape."
"What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a cat"