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Joke of the Day

"I blow on Nintendo cartridges and they work. I blow on women and they still won't sleep with me. LIFE IS SO CONFUSING SOMETIMES."

"WHAT DO WE WANT? RACE CAR NOISES!!! WHEN DO WE WANT THEM?? NEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW"

"I just put BOTH my legs into one pajama pant leg...making me a MERMAID!"

"What do you call a gay philosopher? Pyfagoras"

"A Jewish kid wants to go to the mall... and asks his dad for forty dollars. ""Thirty dollars?"" he replies. ""What do you need twenty dollars for?"""

"What would Martin Luther King Jr. have been if he was white? Alive"

"Two cannibals are enjoying dinner. One compliments the other, ""I say, Bill, your wife really makes a great meal."""

"I'll likely spend most of my child bearing years looking for a place to plug in my phone"

"Websites that automatically play music are like strangers who try to talk to you on a plane."

"She had a LITTLE lamb? No way! I watched Mary make six trips to the buffet."