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Joke of the Day
"Life is a highway and I don't have a car"
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"How do you tell the teams apart in Amish women's basketball? It's skirts versus shins."
"Whoever says Paper beats Rock is an idiot. Next time I see someone say that I will throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper"
"I hope you brought the divorce papers... Cuz your legs are about to be separated."
"Do you know the difference between curtain and toilet paper? -Do you know the difference between curtain and toilet paper? -No... -GUYS, HE DID IT!"
"I was throwing banana peels at other cars because I'm out of turtle shells, officer. Duh."
"Shout-out to cows. Without them we wouldn't have burgers, pizza, chocolate, ice-cream and many other delicious food."
"Longest joke in the world (source) http://longestjokeintheworld.com"
"[5 mins after seeing our neighbour's new boat] wife: ""everything's a competition to you"" me: [trying to find the moon on eBay] ""no it's not"""
"What's Obama's favorite word? uh..."