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Joke of the Day

"Dropped mother-in-law at airport. Her flight isn't until Tuesday, but with security and all, best to play it safe."

"Why is crack a ""Rock""? Because it's as hard to get off as Alcatraz."

"*goes into kitchen *makes toast *pours coffee *sits at table *opens Sunday paper ""WHO ARE YOU & WHY ARE YOU IN MY KITCHEN?"" *sighs *leaves"

"I asked god for a bike but I knew it didn't work that way... So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness instead."

"What fighting style does best girl use? Waifoo."

"I'm not stalking you. I'm getting to know you behind your back."

"What do you call an army of corn? The Musket - ears"

"Fun Date Idea: Find a balloon, forget about the date, you have a balloon now."

"Two guys on /r/Jokes walk into a bar One adds lines after the punchline, while the other doesn't. The one who never adds these extra lines kicks the one who does. Son of a b****!"

"The police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. The police charged one and let the other one off."