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Joke of the Day

"I'm pretty sure they weren't talking about stupid when they told you, ""If you got it flaunt it."""

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster who got breast implants? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean."

"For me, coming out as a teenager was the hardest thing I've experienced. God knows what it must have been like for my mother. Being in labour for that long."

"The difference between a rooster and a lawyer? When the rooster wakes, his primal urge is to cluck defiance."

"A man cheats... on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine died. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, ""I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."""

"If you watch the movie Twister backwards it's the story of friendly tornados saving lives, rebuilding destroyed towns and playing with cows."

"How can you tell the difference between a Fleshlight and the porn star it was modeled after? Rubber clit..."

"My little brother just threw a milk carton at me.. How dairy."

"Did you hear about the man who went into the doctor for anal glaucoma? He couldn't see his ass going into work."

"Why are you on /r/Jokes? What arrr ya buncha pirates or sumthin? *tssssssss*"