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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a funny mosquito? Malarious -My gf's homemade joke"

"If I had a dollar for every time someone over 40 told me my generation sucks. Then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined."

"What's the difference between a dirty parking lot and a crab with breast implants? Ones a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean."

"My wrists hurt whenever I drive to work with my co-workers and we go through a tunnel. I think it's carpool tunnel syndrome."

"Before. b-e-f-o-r-e, not B4. We speak English, Not bingo..."

"I really, really need to stop eating clocks It is very time consuming"

"How do we know Jesus was a man? We've had to wait 2,000 years for his second coming."

"An anagram of Ellen Poe is Allen Poe.. Quoth the Reddit...nevermore"

"Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards."

"If I'm in a public bathroom and someone else in that same bathroom is on the phone and states that they are ANYWHERE ELSE, I flush my toilet"