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Joke of the Day

"Two bars of chocolate are falling down the stairs... ...the first one says:""Shit I think I broke my ribs"". To which the second one replies:""So what, I fucking hit my nuts!""."

"A perk of being in your thirties is waking up injured because you slept in a slightly different way than usual."

"The worst part about being single is always doing what I want. Anytime. Anywhere. With whomever. That sucks."

"hey sory i just saw this mesage u sent last month even tho all my notifications make sounds and my phone is in my hand even when im sleeping"

"The worst racist joke I can think of. A black man and a parrot walk into a bar The Bartender says ""Wow what a beautiful bird where did you get it?"" The parrot reply's ""Africa"""

"I dont want to make a joke but I really want to hear the most cancerous joke you know. If I get 100 of them I will show them all to my friend who hates cancerous jokes."

"Did you hear about the shooting with the starting pistol? It was race related"

"What is Paula Deens Least Favorite Pokemon? Butterfree"

"Baseball Joke What takes longer to run, first to second, or second to third? Second to third, because there's a short stop in the middle!"

"Two fish are in a tank... One turns to the other and asks: ""do *you* know how to drive this thing?"""