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Joke of the Day

"My favorite selfies are the ones people post of themselves looking off in the distance, like they didn't realize they were taking a selfie"

"So pi and the imaginary number are talking... and i says to pi, ""be rational."" Pi responds, ""u shut ur bitch-ass whore mouth or im gon shank u mofo"" and i says, ""Oh shit just got real."""

"What state is a person in when they've just been made fun of sexually on the internet? E-reckt"

"I've done all the cleaning and ironing but I've forgot why I broke into this house in the first place."

"What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman? Sexual harassment."

"? Hey there Delilah, for your word spell Mississippi ""May I have the definition?"" The state siblings can get frisky ? and cousins toooo ?"

"I don't speak button, but if I could I'm pretty sure the button on my jeans is saying, ""Aaaaah! Help me!"" right now."

"right before i die, i want to stuff myself with 100 chicken nuggets and blaze tf up"

"When is the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-Hurty"

"I got fired from my job as a jihadist. They told me to blow up a bus, and I burnt my lips on the exaust pipe."