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Joke of the Day

"If I were a kidnapper, I'd drive around telling adults there's naps in the van."

"You know what makes me smile? ... my face muscles"

"I'm just a girl, sitting in her car, wondering what the person I texted ""I'm in the cat"" to, is thinking right now."

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs playing in the leaves? Russell."

"Did you hear about child molester who plays the piano? He was fingering a minor"

"What was the butcher doing when he got caught? Beating his meat."

"*holds ""bunny ears"" over someone's head for five hours as they have their portrait painted*"

"You can learn a lot about your kids by simply turning off the TV and talking. For example I discovered that mine are really boring."

"There is nothing more vile and disgusting than child pornographers. In my opinion, they should be tried as adults."

"I'm fine with bestiality as long as it's consensual. Neigh means neigh"