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Joke of the Day

"My biggest fear is racists. And blacks."

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"I don't think I could ever fall in love with a midget... I don't think I could ever fall in love with a midget. But I guess it's better to fall in love with a small person, than not a tall."
"I bet Hemingway would've deleted a shitload of tweets the next day."
"What do you call a blind deer? No-eye deer. What do you call a blind deer with no legs? *Still* no-eye deer."
"Me: Don't tell me you've never thought about having sex with me. Her: No, I never have.... Me: I asked you not to tell me that."
"Horton must be a first base coach... Since he hears a who."
"What's the difference between an erection and a Camaro? I don't have a Camaro...."
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"[FIRST DATE] Me, opening mouth seductively: ""And this is where I burned my tongue on pizza, and this is where I burned my tongue on fries, a"
"""We don't serve faster than light neutrinos in here"", said the bartender. A neutrino walks into a bar."