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Joke of the Day

"What do fruit punch and a punch to the face have in common? Both can knock you out at a party."

"My girlfriends nervous about giving birth. I said don't worry, women have been doing it for over 100,000 years.. .. Or in the case of Republicans, women have been doing it for 6,000 years or less"

"You know how Brussels sprouts and anal sex are kinda the same?? If you're forced to have it as a kid, you probably won't like it as an adult"

"I texted my mom at 5am telling her trump won, she asked why I was up so early. I told her ""I don't know. Maybe the sound of my health insurance flying away woke me up."""

"Why are Prank Videos AIDS? Because they are people gone sexual, happen in the hood and is sex gone wrong."

"How do you make gold soup? You use 14 carrots."

"What do cows do for fun? They go to the mooooo-vies."

"What did the rubber band factory worker say when he was fired? Oh snap!"

"Have you heard Julian Assange never spends more than 20 seconds in the restroom? Yeah, he's infamous for his quickieleaks."

"Waiter what is this cockroach doing on my ice cream sundae ? Skiing sir !"