126265
Joke of the Day
"As a wizard I know a selection of offensive spells... My favorite is 'Curse'."
Next Joke
"Your Lawyer and your Wife are drowning! Quick! You must make a decision!! Should you go to the movies, or order pizza?"
"Mary had a little sheep and with the sheep she went to sleep. The sheep turned out to be a ram so Mary had a little lamb."
"My resume is really just a list of shit I hope I never have to do again."
"Two cats are swimming across a river, who made it across? one's name is ""one two three"" and the others name is ""un deux trois"". who made it across? one two three, because un deux trois cat sank."
"I used to hate facial hair But then it grew on me"
"[God waking up with a hangover] last night was a blur. Whose prayers did I answer? [sees Trump leading in the polls] uh oh"
"A man is getting a prostate exam... During the exam, the man asks the doctor, ""Is there anything I should be worrying about?"" The doctor says, ""Only if you can feel both my hands on your shoulders."""
"Dad owl: I'm dying so I need you to look after things. I'm going to give you- Son owl: Don't say it Dad: Power of a tawny Son: [turns head]"
"My girlfriend doesn't want to drop acid with me. She's acting like a basic bitch."