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Joke of the Day

"Call me old fashioned, but I think any woman that can open the lid of a jar by herself is a witch."

"Loose weight I feel that the only option for me to loose weight is to either smoke crack or ingest a tape worm but they both require a commitment level that I am uncomfortable with."

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? R! Aaaarrrgghhhh! You'd think it'd be R but it's the C, matey!"

"*muttered from inside a bear* ""Go hiking,"" they said."

"What was the name of the Indian dating site? Connect the dots"

"Age 20: Gotta get ripped for Spring Break! Age 25: Exercise reduces stress! Age 35: My doctor says I'll die immediately if I don't do this"

"Thank you, Student Loan, for getting me through college. I don't think I can ever repay you."

"Jokes are like packages. While the content is important you mustn't forget about the delivery."

"Funny things to say after loudly farting in a public toilet I'll start with a couple I've heard: ""Systems check cleared - ready for drop..."" ""Whups, I'm sorry, I need to get that fixed..."""

"Atleast there was one way that the new Ghostbusters was true to the original... It still had a black guy as one of the main cast."