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Joke of the Day

"Being married is like peeing in your pants... At first it's nice and hot, but then it just gets sloppy and uncomfortable."

"Nobody told jokes in the USSR... Because in Soviet Russia, jokes tell you."

"'NO NO NO NO NO NO' - My brain, every time words start coming out of my mouth."

"Call me old school, but I think your shorts should be longer than your private parts."

"Here's two short jokes and a long joke: joke. joke. joooooooke."

"What do you get when you cross Miley Cyrus with an alligator? A caiman like a wrecking ball."

"""Mr Bush, do you want my coke?"" ""Yeah sure"" *Bush drinks coke as kid walks away* ""Hey kid...catch"" *kid turns around to see incoming plane*"

"I often wonder if people at work can tell I'm using Tinder just by my hand motions... but then I realize they probably don't care WHY I'm masturbating."

"My dad's bread factory burnt down Now his business is toast"

"This watch means a lot to me, I got it from my Jewish Grandfather He sold it to me on his deathbed."