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Joke of the Day
"Chuck Norris doesn't have blood. He is filled with magma."
Next Joke
"911: What's your emergency? Me: Are you guys hiring? 911: This is an emergency line. Me: No shit. Why do you think I'm calling?"
"What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers? Fang mail."
"The flower had an unexpected pregnancy... So it went to Plant Parenthood."
"A dead person, a 2 year old, and a thot are all asked to count to ten. Which one can do it? It's the thot that counts."
"A drummer trips and falls on a sheep, a candy brand, and then a running faucet *Baa Dum tss*"
"Always note whether a politician is wearing a lapel pin of a flag, as they are the only way to display patriotism."
"Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!"
"A decent news site shouldn't have comments. Comments are not news. Just give me the facts. No one needs to know what ahole666 ""thinks."""
"Me: Okay... Time for bed. Brain: Cool. Me: Brain: Me: Brain: If you had a pterodactyl, would you name him Terry... or Perry??"