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Joke of the Day

"I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live. Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""

"Should America Stop Dumping Money Into a Giant Hole? (theOnion)"

"What I learned from Titanic was that you need to have sex as soon as possilble with the person you like cause you never know what might happen."

"How do you know your friend has been at the gym? Don't worry, he'll tell you."

"Why did the nutty kid throw butter out of the window? He wanted to see a butterfly."

"my wife said ive got a drink problem over the holidays........ .........yes you're right , ive only got one mouth. badum tsss."

"A politician died It was a good day."

"What happens when Trump makes a meme? it goes dankrupt."

"I once had a goldfish that would hump the carpet, but only for about 30 seconds."

"I'm constantly amazed at how different my twin daughters are. Lisa is so much more positive & confident than her sister Hog Face."