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Joke of the Day

"8yo: Ghosts real? Me: No! 4yo: I heard groaning last night 8yo: & a bed squeaking and moaning 4yo: What was that? Me: .. Them: .. Me: Ghosts"

"I'll never hire a monkey plumber off Reddit again! I told him my pipes were clogged up, he recommended a banana for scale."

"Sometimes I ask my husband to put away the clean dishes so I can play kitchen scavenger hunt next time I need something."

"A man entered 10 puns into a pun contest. When he called in to ask if any of his puns won the contest, the organizer told him, ""No pun in ten did."""

"A yoga pants owner, an uggs owner, and an iphone owner walks into a starbucks She orders a drink - Pumpkin Spice Latte"

"My dog just growled back at my rumbling stomach. We have reached a new level of communication."

"my ex-gf had multiple personalities it was like having sex with a diff woman everynight except the time she turned into some guy named harry"

"hi Why didnt Spock make a record of their voyage? Because it was deep space . (the joke is how the outer space was very deep)"

"What do you get from a cowmedian? Cream of Wit!"

"What is about 6 in long, has a head, girls love to blow it, and is in a guys pants? a dollar bill you dirty minded people!! LMFAO"