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Joke of the Day

"why was the hipster hurt by the light bulb ? He changed it before it was cool."

"Q: How can you tell Bill Clinton apart from a cow? A: By the wise look in the eyes."

"What is the difference between my car and Whitney Houston? My car can hit 50."

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot kill, the courage to blow up the things I can, and the wisdom to not get caught."

"[phone rings in 1984] ""Eric get the phone"" Hello? ""Tell em I'm not home."" She's not home. ""Ask who it is."" My mom wants to know who this is."

"I got my family banned from playing Family Feud today. The category was ""Describe your sex life with a Spongebob quote"" and apparently ""ARE YOU READY KIDS?"" was not the right answer."

"What do you call a group of religious oranges? Jehovah's citruses."

"Why are there so many female archaeologists? Because women love digging up the past."

"Insensitive Building a treehouse seems insensitive. It's like killing something and having his friend hold it."

"When my doctor gives me a prostate exam I like to moan ""Mmmm, deeper."" Freaks him out, but not as much as when I try to cuddle afterward."