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Joke of the Day

"If it's true that guns don't kill people, people kill people, then... isn't it true that toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"

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"Feline-loving fashionista's favorite music? Techno. *boots-n-cats-n-boots-n-cats-n-boots-n-cats*"
"How do you break a Polish man's finger? Punch him in the nose."
"What did the butcher say to the cow? ...I love you for your inner beauty."
"Thank God for butter because without butter all butterflies would be just flies and that sounds terrible."
"SURGEON: hold on, i just need to YouTube this part of the procedure PHONE: *unskippable ad plays* NURSE: he's dyin SURGEON: ah crap, hold on"
"What do you do when you are riding on the back of a zebra, right next to a camel, and a lion won't stop chasing you? Get off the carousel, dumb ass. You're drunk."
"What's white and fuzzy and lives high up in the trees? A Meringue - a - tan."
"So a realtor is passing out information for a house as potential buyers are walking in at an Open House A guy says ""Hey, can I see one of those pamphlets?"" The realtor says ""Brochure"""
"Before their conflict with the Decepticons, the Autobots won a much less interesting but emotionally charged war against the Emoticons."
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