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Joke of the Day

"I don't believe in telling little girls they're beautiful. Or little boys. Anybody, really. The human body is truly disgusting."

"I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg!"

"I feel like putting on a shirt with a huge dot and going trick or treating the day after Halloween to scare people. Cause then I'd be a late period."

"Date: any pets? Me: a pet rock D: lol at least u don't have to housetrain it Me: *flashback to piles of pebbles all over my house* haha yeah"

"ISIS new way of recruitment ISIS leader posted a job offer for new workers : "" Need somebody with a head on his shoulders """

"If black people have the race card, women have the gender card, what do rednecks have? The Trump card."

"INSTANT KARMA, Get in on the front page gold rush; ""are jokes"" reddit is a faggot... ...2Bcunt in you'ld (you would love it) (to (too) be continued))..."

"So those numbers on sports jerseys are how many people each player has killed or what."

"What's white and Irish and sits in your backyard all year? Paddy O'Furniture"

"Jesus told Peter, ""Peter, come forth and receive my eternal blessing"" But Peter came fifth and had to eat the biscuit"