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Joke of the Day

"Ladies; The ""JUICY"" on the back of these shorts should really be on the front."

"I like my coffee like I like my women... Without a penis"

"What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter? Deviled eggs!"

"ME{from upstairs}: Honey, I'm gonna take a Buble bath WIFE: You mean bubble bath, dear ME: Right MICHAEL BUBLE: Are you getting in or what?"

"I was thinking of inventing some chilli flavoured sun cream. But for now I've put it on the back burner."

"Why are there no knock-knock jokes about America? Because freedom rings."

"Saw my neighbour scrubbing some graffiti saying 'paedo' off his door this morning... I said ""What's been going on mate?"" He said ""Fucking kids!"""

"I just crashed into the back of a dwarf driver.... He gets out of the car inspects the rear bumper and goes up my window. ""I'm not happy"" he said ""well which one are you then?"""

"I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over."

"Last night I had a dream that I wrote the Lord of the Rings. When I woke up my wife said I had been Tolkien in my sleep..."