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Joke of the Day

"T: Have you done your homework? S: You graded my test? T: No I have other student's stuff to grade S: I have other teacher's homework to do."

"If I ever get a llama, I'm totally naming it Dalai."

"How did ISIS do on their French exam? They bombed it..."

"Damn girl, are you a pig? Because your mother looks like a pig. Because you look damn hot bacon in the Sun. Because I want to stuff you like Thanksgiving dinner. . . . More suggestions appreciated"

"What kind of tree grows in your hand? A palm tree."

"If Reddit up/down voting were to be applied in real life as an immediate feedback of the spoken word crowed subway trains would be a much quieter place."

"Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day Give a man a poisoned fish and he'll eat for the rest of his life"

"i just want someone to love me as much as sean penn loves haiti"

"I'm going to the gym because I heard they have free weights. I wonder how many they'll let me take."

"How do you get spiderwebs out of your hair? Asking because Spider-Man... I mean... Just asking."