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Joke of the Day

"Joan Rivers is just like Soldier Field... She used to be a National Historical Landmark before all of the modifications."

"I've decided to delete my Twitter. I keep feeling that people are following me."

"Advice to the worm Sleep in late!"

"What do you call a semi truck owned by an Italian? That rig a Tonys."

"interviewer: do you have any experience in a leadership role? me: well, I am the group admin for a WhatsApp group"

"A Roman Walks Into a Bar... and holds up his middle and pointer fingers. ""Five beers please,"" he says."

"I ran into my ex the other day... Then I put the car in reverse and backed into her again."

"You say ""tomato,"" I say ""tomato,"" and there, we've written our own wedding vows"

"Sex with my boyfriend is like Ebay's customer support. I keep hearing please wait one more minute, and I just want the whole thing to be over with."

"A new study shows that un-vaccinated children are less likely to be autistic because they are more likely to be dead."