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Joke of the Day

"""I < 3 You"" means I'm smaller than 3 of you."

"KIDNAPPER: Get in the van ME: Oh no thanks I'm vegetarian KIDNAPPER: Oh okay sorry *drives away* {15min later} KIDNAPPER: Wait a minute, wtf"

"My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale... I gave her some bread crumbs and left her in the forest."

"How many Dragon Ball Z episodes does it take to change a lightbulb? ***Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z***"

"I'm surprised they didn't make an all-female Ghost Busters sooner... Busting ghosts at three quarters on the dollar? What a savings!"

"What does the rest of the colony call an old ant? An antique."

"""When I was a kid I asked my mum what a couple was and she said: 'Oh, two or three'. She wonders why her marriage didn't work."

"What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? Pilot"

"I think the only job requirement you need to become a TSA agent, is to know how to do a really good eye roll while you're chewing gum."

"You said you run for fun? You know we have the internet now?"