124602

Joke of the Day

"There's a highway to hell. There's only a stairway to heaven. So a car ride downhill or an arduous climb up. Anyway, welcome to the baptism."

"Interviewer: What is your greatest strength? Me: I have a nap for dealing with conflict. Intvr: Do you mean ""knack""? *pulls out pillow*"

"I hope when they find the cure for cancer it's gluten free otherwise no thanks"

"Somebody stole my Thanksgiving turkey... I suspect fowl play (IT'S THANKSGIVING TOMORROW! HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!)"

"When life handed Chuck Norris lemons, he made chocolate pudding."

"Retired colonel talking of the good old days: Have you ever hunted bear? His grandson's teacher: No but I've been fishing in shorts."

"At what stage of evolution did Robots become as advanced as humans? When opposable thumb drives were developed"

"What did the American Army General say after the first opposing casualty in the Mexican-American War? Juan down, a million more to go."

"Scientist released new findings proving that there are now only seven planets in our solar system after I destroyed Uranus."

"I would suggest that Brazil build a bridge and get over it... but given their record...."