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Joke of the Day

"Can we all agree to just stop what we're doing for 5 minutes and get a worldwide airplane safety speech and then we can skip them forever?"

"I want to make a jew joke Please don't jewdge me!"

"what's a cheap, tasteless way to kill a werewolf? Coors Lite, the silver bullet"

"Mr. Belichick how do you feel about these accusations against your organization? Deflated."

"Clearly the people that design refrigerators don't know me if they think 1 tiny cheese drawer & 2 giant vegetable drawers is the way to go."

"when a goth has an identity crisis do they bleach all their clothes"

"Me: I just stepped in dog shit, isn't that weird? Her: Not really Me: Ok, what if I told you I knew it was there?"

"Life is like a box of chocolates It doesn't last long for fat people"

"What do you call the spicy version of Cream of Someyoungguy? Cream of Someyoungthai."

"What do you call weaponized sushi? A combat roll"