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Joke of the Day

"If it's illegal for clowns to walk around town... Then why can they run for president?"

"What do you find up a clean nose? Finger-prints."

"""Oh you just put lotion on? You're not going anywhere."" - Doorknob"

"What words men never want to hear during sex? Hi honey, I'm home."

"Fuck. Was just recorded by the google earth car. Just to be clear, I was jerking off NEAR pigeons, not TO them."

"Starbucks bathrooms are EXCLUSIVELY for terrible diarrhea, right?"

"A Ghost dressed up as human for Halloween Ghost knocks on neighbor's door: ""Trick or treat!"" Neighbor says to his wife, ""That's the spirit""."

"How do you know if your wine was made in the 90's? It smells like teen spirit."

"What did the sarcastic taximan say when he lost his job? Oh well that's just uber, isn't it"

"How do you know Moby Dick was a gay whale? Because he was trying to swallow the sea men..."