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Joke of the Day

"Motels 1 through 5 must've been real dumps."

"I think you scientists did a great job of making old people's d-i-c-k-s hard. How 'bout you guys take a look at cancer and stuff now."

"[overhears girl at work crying because her grandad & her dad died this month] Me: not all men are like that"

"What did the buffalo say to his kid when he went off to college? ""Bye, son."""

"I went to a club and they played ""The Twist"", I did the twist. They played ""Jump"", I jumped. They played ""Come on Eileen""...I got kicked out for that one."

"The only reason I've been going out with this guy all summer is because I have no idea how to operate my gas grill."

"What did the mermaid wear for good luck on her math test? Her *algaebra*."

"Madonna falls off stage apparently she was supposed to untie her cape so that her dancers could rip it off her. i guess madonna is not as good at pulling things off as she used to be."

"How did the hipster burn their lips? They ate the pizza before it was cool"

"What's the Top Job Requirement for Deep Sea Diver Position? Ability to work under pressure."