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Joke of the Day

"[commercial] [man comes home after long day, opens front door and is attacked by 8 cats] MAN: There has to be a better way! Narrator: DOGS"

"I identify as counter strike, and I find this globally offensive."

"What type of matter can be both a solid and a liquid? Fecal matter It can also be plasma if you poop on the sun....can also be a gas if you fart. Also can be dinner if your hungry."

"What is the worst part about going to Auschwitz? Your dreams are not the only thing going up in smokes."

"What does Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashes? Nothing."

"I like my women like I like my wine.. 12 years old and locked up in a cellar."

"Why doesn't Batman like going to Robin's house? They don't like rich people in Robin's hood"

"If a girl says, ""I hate drama"" there is a 99% chance she is a huge drama queen."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bab ! Bab who ? Bab Boone is a real ape !"

"Which is the toughest tree? A Christmas Tree because it has the most balls"