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Joke of the Day

"You can't declare Massachusetts a state of emergency Because they're actually a commonwealth."

"Did anyone hear about the Grizzly who was sick of giving birth to naked cubs? She could barely bear to bear bare bare bears."

"My boss just farted. I asked him if he was trying to get the condom out. I am jobless now."

"I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them."

"The Windows Update reminder to restart your computer is like a little kid. You tell it that you'll restart later, so it goes away, then it pops up again in two minutes and says ""Ok, it's later!""."

"Do deaf people have a right to a fair hearing?"

"""Only a good guy with a forest fire can prevent forest fires"" - Smokey the NRA Bear"

"Chinese takeout, $15.00, gas to get there, $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes. Riceless."

"Where do you find the best tofu in the entire world?"

"Husband has fake roaches that he sets up around the house to scare the shit out of me 24/7. I'm putting out positive pregnancy tests. HA."