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Joke of the Day
"Why shouldn't you post to Reddit while driving? becau"
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"I'm really glad they invented shampoo. imagine having to wash your hair with real poo?"
"How does the alchemist please his wife? Elixir!!!!!"
"Ladies and gentlemen, my browsing history... [deleted]"
"My kids use all the toilet paper, dictate when I sleep and eat, and destroy everything I own. My house is its own little communist country."
"I've met many Richards... However, some of them are Dicks."
"Did you hear they're gonna make a new TV show about Bruce growing up as an unloved child? They're gonna call it Punky Bruceter."
"Forgetting to close my tab at the bar isn't as costly as forgetting to close tabs on my computer at home."
"Hit snooze until the panic sets in."
"I hope Jessica Biel names her first child Batmo."