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Joke of the Day

"Reporter: are you nervous about the fight? Me nervously: no Reporter: he said he's going to 'rip your heart out' Me crying: but I need it"

"What's a neckbeard's favorite pokemon? M'champ"

"What dog loves to take bubble baths ? A shampoodle !"

"A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip."

"Why did the puppy get away with committing murder? ...He had paws-able deniability."

"He paid me $150 for the ""girlfriend experience,"" so I went through his phone then locked myself in the bathroom, sobbing inconsolably."

"Tombstone: Here lies Houdini 2nd Tombstone: Now I'm over here"

"How do you know if air fresheners have gotten too smart? If they have become scent-ient."

"Why did Tiger Woods stop winning golf tournaments? Because he stopped cheating"

"What came first, the hen or the egg? The rooster. ;)"