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Joke of the Day
"Spent the entire day milking a single almond."
Next Joke
"I just lost 130 pounds of useless fat, that was sucking the life out of me I got a divorce"
"*Leonardo Dicapreo goes up to accept oscar* *pulls out speech* *blows dust off of it* Yes I'd like to thank the directors of titanic for th-"
"A prospective army man walks into a recruitment office without pants. ""Is there a draft in here?"""
"I had an idea for a movie plot where a retired CIA agent searches for his kidnapped daughter in Paris... But it turns out that idea was already taken"
"Girls are a lot like sleeping bags. I really like being inside them, and they cost about $200."
"Two muffins are in a tin in the oven. One says to the other, ""man it's hot in here."" The other says, ""HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!"""
"Who is the most popular guy at a nudist colony? The guy that can carry a dozen doughnuts and 2 cups of coffee."
"Just Admit it Your biggest lie was & still is : ""I have read and agrees\d to the terms of service."""
"Tell you what I know about dwarves very little. I can say that, they look up to me."