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Joke of the Day

"The president of Iran visited Italy And all of the nude statues were covered during his visit. It was a precaution as they may have made his 9 year old wife uncomfortable."

"Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 15 people Then the grenade exploded."

"Being an assassin would be so cool People would kill to have that job"

"*man invents wheel* ""How can we possibly improve this?"" *Man invents wheel of cheese* ""Nailed it!"""

"I need an emoticon that's stabbing another emoticon in the eye with a pen while repeatedly punching it in its little emoticon balls."

"What does a condom have in common with a coffin? Ones for coming and ones for going."

"Why can't you hear pterodactyls go to the toilet? Because the 'p' is silent."

"GIRL NEARBY: I'm breaking up with you, Kevin. You don't talk about Pokemon enough. [I sit up straight and frantically try smoothing my hair]"

"*accidentally walks into women's restroom* *plays it cool* *sits down* *finds comfort here* *changes name to Janice* *is alive* *is free*"

"Some people wonder why Arnold Schwarzenegger hasn't run for President... It's only because he's Austrian. And we all know what happened last time an Austrian came to power..."