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Joke of the Day

"What does Osama bin Laden and my wife's clitoris have in common? Took me 10 years to find it, but when I did; killed it!"

"Why did the Mexican try to wear his taco? He was dyslexic."

"Jesus dies for our sins? No, no, no... He died for YOUR sins. I haven't touched a goat inappropriately since third grade."

"Once I got my art degree I didn't need to deliver to people anymore. Now they come to me, explaining what they want me to create. Then I ask them to pull up to the next window."

"If it looks like a fish and smells like a fish... Shes's probably too old for you."

"I just found out my grandmother only has one day left to live. And I know this might sound cruel... ...but I'm not paying the ransom. -Anthony Jeselnik"

"My 8-Year old patient was so pround, mom was not. Q: What type of bees make milk? A: BOO-Bees! And then he just couldn't stop laughing. Mom turned 50 shades of red and blamed dad. Good times."

"What is the best part of an ISIS joke? The execution."

"Let's sing a Unitarian's favorite hymn. ""We gather together to gather together . . ."""

"Someone needs to invent an alarm clock that, if you hit snooze more than three times, will call in sick for you."