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Joke of the Day

"Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember"

"What sort of a car has your dad got? I can't remember the name. I think it starts with T. Really - Ours only starts with gas."

"My personal trainer told me to stop eating pizzas but if I'm craving it I should just eat one slice. So now I ask them not to cut the pizza."

"Women are like Gremlins, get them wet and they get into all sorts of trouble."

"I've been all over the web looking for a combination fly swatter/back scratcher. I'm tired of lugging both around all day."

"Why can't Thor play the piano or hide n seek with his brother? He can never find the Loki."

"Hey guys with the super loud mufflers on their cars. I used to put a baseball card in my bicycle wheel spokes. I was 12."

"Me: But where do you see this relationship in five years? Her: Sir! For the last time, do you want extra cheese or not?"

"What did one boob say to the other? You're my breast friend. We have had so many mammaries together."

"Why did the elk cry at the funeral? He had lost a deer friend"