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Joke of the Day

"When can you dive in a swimming pool and not get your hair wet ? When your bald !"

"How did Gertie Gorilla make the 'Playboy' Calendar? She was 'Miss Ape-ril!'"

"I just ate so much Chinese food that now I'm able to use algorithms based on linear algebra to solve large numerical systems."

"What did all the creepy people do before the Internet?"

"For tax purposes, my carpe is now per diem."

"Did you hear about the comedian that calls himself ""The Sofa King""? He's sofa king funny."

"The ""Parmesan"" cheese in the USA is an abomination of the original. Start buying parmigiano reggiano and make America grate again."

"Her: The laundry pods are missing! Me: Oh really? H: Did you eat them again? M: Absolutely not *burps bubbles* why? H: JUST CALL IT A HUNCH!"

"Nice try, Team USA. Not bad for a country that only cares about soccer for two weeks every other year!"

"If I don't eat all of my food, it goes to waste. If I do eat all of my food, it goes to *waist*."