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Joke of the Day

"What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web? Your keyboard."

"Some bloke just told me he was gonna smack me with the neck of his guitar.... I said, is that a fret?"

"I went on a date with a girl I met from twitter once. It didn't work out, but he's one of the nicest guys I've ever met."

"After a disappointing summer, Humpty Dumpty ended up having a great fall!"

"When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85. That's why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship."

"Statistically speaking, every male has had a crush on a teacher... For me, it's my wife's yoga instructor."

"I'm not what you call ""country"" I play support in MOBA games because farming is a foreign concept to me"

"[airport check-in] Me: I'd like to check this in Clerk: you'll have to take that on with u Me [sighing & picking baby up off counter]: fine"

"Dentist: There goes the only woman I ever loved. Assistant: Why don't you marry her? Dentist: I can't afford to. She's my best patient."

"The train stops at a train station; the bus stops at a bus station; My desk is a workstation."