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Joke of the Day
"How do you make a man like 10 pounds of fat? Stick a nipple on it."
Next Joke
"I hope the zombies start with people that talk to me when I'm obviously counting."
"Jeez make one joke about putting cyanide in someone's food and suddenly they don't want you to cook for them anymore"
"Person on this home improvement show said everybody needs ""a good screwing surface."" Can't argue with that logic."
"2000 years ago somewhere in the Middle East 'I do not care who your father is. When I am out here fishing you do not walk on the water...'"
"astronomers got tired after watching the moon go around the earth for 24 hours so they decided to call it a day"
"What do you call a sextape with a 60 year-old man in it? Flappy Bird. ^I'll ^excuse ^myself ^now"
"I'm a kleptomaniac It's ok though, I'm taking something for it"
"What do you call a burden of a bookstore A liabilitirary *say it out loud*"
"Dad Dinosaur: Look son a shooting star make a wish! Angsty Teen Dinosaur: I wish it would hit us and kill us all."