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Joke of the Day

"My voicemail message is just instructions on how to send a text message with brief pauses filled with heavy sighing."

"What do you call an arrogant patronizing thief coming down the stairs? A condescending con descending."

"Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate."

"A fruit probably wouldn't travel to Australia But a veggie might"

"A stampede of homeless people was heading to the local shelter. One might say they were bum rushed."

"Handgun owners have a 2% increased rate of suicide. If we could get that up to 10%, Democrats stand a chance in 2020."

"How many 2nd trumpets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They can't get that high! (My band teacher told me that one today)"

"Did you hear about the guy that went to court over a stolen bag? It was a brief case."

"I am man. Hear me ask my wife for permission to roar."

"""Why do you wanna work at Clickbait Enterprises?"" Here's 10 reasons why I should get the job ""ok"" Number 7 will shock you ""You're hired"""