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Joke of the Day

"[In bed with gf] ""Do you have any fantasies?"" Yeah, one. You know your friend Sarah, the hot one? ""Yes.. why?"" I want to hit her with my car"

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"I dislike three types of people Racists, hypocrites and mexicans"
"what do you call a gay dyslexic? a dyxlixic"
"A guy goes to his doctor. The doctor says to him, ""You need to stop masturbating"". The patient says ""What? Why?"". The doctor replies ""So I can examine you"""
"Why can't ewoks yell in the house? Because they have to use their Endor voices."
"I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet But I don't know why..."
"America is in labor now Soon we will know if it's a boy or a girl."
"English and American spellings England: colour America: color England: humour America: humor England: flavour America: flavor England: What the hell are you doing? America: Getting rid of u"
"Luke, I am your uncle. Luke, I am your third cousin. Luke, I am your grandmother. - Skywalker family reunion"
"Did you hear about the man who had sex with a parrot? He got chirpes, and the bad news is...it's untweetable."