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Joke of the Day
"[at pet store] Im looking for something cheap and will get people to stop coming over."
Next Joke
"My Muslim neighbor came to my house and asked ""Have you seen Mahid lately?"" I said, ""No, just your eyes."""
"So she texts: Do you want to see something exiting? Me: Yes, of course! Anddd she left the chat."
"Q: Did you know that the three wise men were firemen? A: It says they came from afir (a fire a far)."
"tomorrow is national microphone day... check 12/12/12"
"I met this 14 year old online, and she told me she is an undercover cop... How COOL is that for someone her age?"
"Hello, Gotham Child Services. Oh dear. Both dead? My my. Well, does the child have a Butler that can raise him? Cos it's a lot of paperwork."
"I love using sign language It's a real hands-on experience."
"An optimist says the glass is half full, a pessimist says the glass is half empty... ... an engineer just points out that the glass is twice as big as it needs to be."
"[Catholic church] *priest hands out ""What To Expect At Your Exorcism"" Husband: Babe, this isn't counseling Me: You said you'd try anything"